Sam and Maria.

When I had one kid I was pretty sure we had a good idea of parenting, sure it would get harder as we got more kids, but we were pretty good at this. With one kid we didn’t have to bend too much, though looking back, I sure made a big deal about the things I had to give up, and granted, it was a huge change to go from childless to having even one child.
I was absolutely on top of Cade’s appearance and he never wore dirty, stained, muddy or otherwise soiled clothes. I was an fabulous parent (in my mind!!)
We rarely had Family Days, since we just had one kid, but whenever we did anything together it was pretty calm and we got done whatever it was we set out to do.

Brookey arrived next. Brooke was an angel baby, waking only to gurgle and coo, the effort of which tired her, and she would put herself back to sleep. I had parenting super figured out. In my thinking, if you could ace it with two, you had your act down. I think I was a pretty SR parent, ahem. That pregnancy I also gained like 20lb less than all my other ones so I was back in shape in no time. I felt like I was on top of my game.

Enter Zara, exit all “parenting confidence.” It’s not that Zara on her own was such a struggle, but all of a sudden “spontaneous” meant 45 min later. I often had kids crying in three different parts of the house, and Family Day was like a mission, something that had to be strategically planned and executed with accuracy. We would often get comments like “watching you guys wears me out.” But, as everyone does, we learned to work with it, and babies aren’t babies forever (instead they become toddlers, yeeha!!). We evoluted and learned that we didn’t have to be perfect, and especially, our kids didn’t have to be. They could be dirty sometimes, messy other times, and sometimes things wouldn’t go as planned.

Four kids: spontaneous means “an hour or more,” (the moment might be passed), we still have to plan everything, but we only plan one activity a day, instead of a whole day of errands. We have lots of play clothes and just a few “special clothes.” On our way out today Zara got blue marker on Cade’s shirt and I found myself thinking “well, at least it’s a blue shirt, it kind of matches (I have changed!!) We are a spectacle when we go out, but I think people just like to look at kids. The kids are our witness and I’ve learned that they’re really the biggest witness I can ever give, at least for a while.

Incidentally, Family Day is just about my favorite day in the week (though I do prefer that it comes before and not after rest day). It’s fun to be a family, whether you have one kid or ten. And it’s very true that parenting consumes you, whether you have one child or many. Each kid and each day shapes a little more of your life until you end up pretty different than you started, but I guarantee you’ll be happy!