Sam and Maria.

My poor neglected blog spoke to me in the night and asked me to tell you something.

I have on my mind three separate situations that I have experienced where there has come a gap or breech between me and someone else who I was previously close to, and these sad breeches are largely because of my mistakes. I am not pleased with this at all. I am generally happiest when those in my life are happy with me.

Recently I visited someone who has a coral growing operation in his backyard. In a large tank he simulates the proper conditions for coral to grow, and patiently waits for it to grow. He then sells it for a small profit. The profit part of the operation wasn’t going too well, but that’s beside the point.

I actually got an interesting illustration from that tank. Forgiveness and trust takes time to grow. Sometimes the best you can do is to simulate the conditions necessary for that to happen, and then trust the Lord for the rest.

When it comes to sensitive matters or matters of the heart, I have found that there are some times when less is more, and not rehashing things is much better than bringing out all the dirty laundry and examining it to figure out the source of the smell. It doesn’t clean the laundry, and all of it needs to be washed, so you’re better off skipping that step.

That’s not to say that there aren’t a good many problems that are solved by simple, honest communication, but there is such a thing as over talking an issue, to the point that you just bring up new issues. So, in that case, you just have to have the faith that, if you keep the love out there, forgiveness and trust will grow. It is not always an instant thing, even when you really love someone.

Recently I experienced a situation that was really complicated, to me. It involved people, lives, hearts, emotions, right, wrong, and just enough to make a girl’s head spin.

I spent a lot of time trying to understand it, fix it, retrace and reconcile, but nothing seemed satisfactory. If anything, I just made things more complicated with my “fix it” approach.

One day, as I pondered it yet again, I asked Jesus how He saw it, and this time, the clouds broke and I got that ray of sunshine answer that made it all make sense for me: It is what it is. Deep, eyh?

In other words, I don’t have to understand it, I don’t have to try and fix anything, I just need to accept it, where I’m at, where other people are at, and trust the Lord for the ride.

This lesson is one that I find very relevant to life right now, at least my life . Sometimes it’s all just a lot to wrap my head around, but keeping the frame of mind that I can walk by faith, even in personal matters that I feel I need a grip on, keeps me remembering that Jesus’ expectations are often so much less than what I have for myself. Acceptance of where I am at, and where other people are at, and faith that the Lord is going to continue leading us along, is so much more stabilizing. Don’t you think?

So whatta ya think?

I have this theory on love. I’m just gonna put it out there…

I think that most of us are pretty average, we’re a mix of extraordinary and ordinary. We’re capable of loving and being loved. I think that what makes a person special to you is not necessarily that they are so much more special than anyone else, but rather the “window.” The window is a time and place in your life when you let your guard down, when your heart is open to letting someone one in. This can be on a friendship level, or on a more intimate level.

Once in, it’s the things you experience together that endear the person to you. Because of what you share and have shared, you are special.

Take Sam and I. I am ordinary, sort of the definition of it, a simple girl that doesn’t really stand out in any way, looks, brains or otherwise. But, when we met we both were at a place in our lives where we had that window open. Now  of course, I am very stand out to Sam…:D

I don’t really believe in soul mates. I don’t believe that there is just one person with whom you can really connect. I think it’s rather the place you are at in your life that makes you ready to connect. If you keep your “windows” open, there is love all around.
Okay, this isn’t perfectly articulated, but, ya get the gist of it.

The other night, at around 12:00 am, Sam and I were busy arguing. It’s a great thing to do when you’re tired…NOT. But, when there is a disagreement that we haven’t had a chance to solve the urge to take care of it in the little  bit of time we have together can often get the better of us.

We cajole each other to stay awake so that “the sun does not go down on our wrath,” and it is not fun. But, on this particular night Sam did something different. Our discussion came to a pause, and Sam just said “Honey, I love you!” and rolled over and went to sleep. I needed no convincing to do the same.

The next morning, after a good rest, the problem had shrunk to its true size. We had a few minutes to snuggle before the day caught on, and we started the day in sync having apologized and made up.

So, I don’t want to contradict scripture, but I think that sometimes, especially when the sun has already set and you are just weary, it’s wise to save the big discussions for later, and just trust that you love each other enough. A good night’s sleep can defuse a lot of frustration and anger.

And that is my little thought for you precious 15 readers.

Pictures and tales of Vegas soon to follow.

I clearly remember this event” I was five years old and standing at the door of the elevator in the apartment complex where I lived. Standing next to me was the mother of some of my friends, she was pregnant at the time. I so distinctly remember looking at her, she was tall, very tall, her hair was bright red, and her belly was enormous!

At that moment I tucked away a few facts in my memory: This lady was very tall, and when she was pregnant she looked like she was going to explode.

Over 20 years later I met this lady again, and as it turns out, she’s shorter than me, so I’m guessing she doesn’t explode when pregnant either. Odd as it may sound, this experience was a turning point for me.

I simply realized how so often my perspective or stance on something may be rooted in a perception I had before I had the understanding that I do now. And in the future I may say the same thing.

When I examine something, I usually examine it through the data I have stored up on it, which may come from way back, be majorly influenced by some emotion, or anchored to an experience I had before.

Understanding this about myself has helped me to be more willing to seek out new fact and reexamine perspectives and issues that I felt I had a solid stance on before. It has made me want to draw my information from a much larger pool, fed by varying sources.

Understanding this about others has helped me to understand that people often come at something from the perspective of their history. You have to win their trust for the future, and then they are willing to let go of their past, or at least not use it as the yardstick for the future.

…they are just too cute!

Does this ever happen to you:

You’re on the phone with someone, and about to end the conversation and you say

“Thanks so much! Goodbye”

They say: “Oh, it’s nothing. See ya!”

You say: Yeah, okay, cool!

They say: Take care!

You say: You too!

They say: Bye

You say: Bye

And on and on the story goes. So, this is my question, is there a certain amount of times you should go back and forth when saying goodbye. If there isn’t, can we just agree on a set amount here? (Of course, there’s probably only like five people who read this blog, and so maybe that won’t be so effective)
I think two ending exchanges is sufficient, do you?

I think the same rule should apply to chatting. I also think you should give some sort of cue if you’re exiting a chat. “gtg” “xx” something to indicate you’re leaving, if it all possible.

These are just my electronic age communication etiquette suggestions. Do you have any?